Monday Mayhem, special six-cats-with-diarrhea-I-am-too-tired-to-hold-my-head-up abridged edition:
1. What ticked you off last week while you were on your way somewhere?
I'm in one hellacious fight with Verizon Wireless right now that has devolved to the point where the dialogue between us could very well have been swiped from an old Looney Toon featuring Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd. Lately, it's become all too obvious to everyone involved that the absolute best case scenario is that everyone dies in an ACME explosion and we all end up playing harps whilst floating on clouds.
So last week, I'm trying to get everything squared away with that mess, and if you haven't tried to deal with Verizon ever before, let me tell you, it's like trepanning yourself with a spoon, only not as fun. I had Angela on one line saying I had to go to the store, and Brad on another line saying oh no, it had to be taken care of by customer service, but customer service had me on hold, and the guy from the FCC is sighing in my ear but I'm not about to let him go because LIKE SHIT am I going to let them get away with this again, when MY CELL PHONE RINGS and who is it?
No, really. WHO IS IT?
It's VERIZON WIRELESS, wanting to know if I'm interested in UPGRADING MY PLAN.
What came next was a string of profanities too crude to post, not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm pretty sure it would land me on the terrorist watch list.
Lesson learned: every time you tango with Verizon Wireless, THE TERRORISTS WIN.