Pep Talks

Lately I've been starting my writing day by asking myself:

What is the pep talk I need to hear today?

It turns out that every day, this answer is vastly different than the day before.

Not only that, but sometimes the person I need to hear it from is not even me, but someone else, someone I may or may not have access to, which can get really tricky.

For example, a couple of days ago, the pep talk I needed--ridiculously enough--was encouragement from my fifth grade teacher, who is not only deceased, but also wasn't my favorite person and also not the nicest or most encouraging person when she was alive.

It was a situation where my brain told me I wanted something I was literally never, not in a million years, ever going to get.

This, friends, is what therapy does to you. It not only makes you aware of situations like this, but it also makes you aware of situations like this, if you know what I mean.

Because I think without therapy, I would go through my day, not really knowing what it was I thought I needed, only knowing I was never going to get it. But because I've gone to therapy and I've done the work and I can put the name to the thing and process through some of it, I feel like I'm required to then untangle some of those knots.

Lucky me.

My fifth grade teacher...I'm sure she had her own demons. Some of those demons, no doubt, were fifth grade kids. Have you met fifth grade kids? They're brutal. But let's just say...she was in the wrong profession for her temperament.

I have always been an avid reader and writer. I was that kid with a notebook when I was nine. The I-won't-bother-you-if-you-don't-bother-me type. The kind who would rather sit in the library than play outside. We could have just been cool with each other. But no.

One day a kid named Travis jerked my notebook out from under me, held it up for all to see, and announced to the class that I was writing a book and I wanted to be published.

The class laughed.

And then Ms. Sade joined in.

"That's ridiculous," she said.

She could have just said nothing at all. She could have said, "Dude, stop touching other people's shit." But no.

This isn't really a sore spot for me now, but it gutted me at the time. I was eight years old. I didn't know any better. All I knew was to be hurt.

So when I have these moments where I need reassurance but from a specific person or a specific point in the past, I try really hard to perk up and listen to what it's really asking.

This particular instance was asking for someone to stand up with a piece of my work, like Travis did, and ask: Could this be something? Or will someone laugh at it?

And the solution was simple: I sent a chunk of work to my agent, whom I trust will not laugh at me, and asked for feedback.

There's a whole big can of worms that comes with asking for what you need, too, instead of waiting for someone to magically guess, but I don't have time to get into that today. I have a kitten sleeping on my lap, and my coffee is fresh, and I have more words to write before the kitten wakes and the coffee goes cold.

So I will leave you with this, fellow writers and future me: don't be afraid to ask for what you need when you need it.

Writing Sprints

Today I am doing writing sprints to get my word count in for the day.

What are writing sprints?

Writing sprints are when you take a big chunk of time, ie: your writing time for the day, and you split it up into writing time and resting time, so that you get stuff done but you also don't burn yourself out or stress yourself out.

For me, today, this looks like 15 minutes writing followed by 15 minutes resting. You can write or rest for longer or shorter, depending on how you're feeling. The only rule is that you make the rules.

(If this sounds a lot like the Pomodoro Technique, you're not wrong! It's pulled directly from that, probably!)

Writing sprints are probably one of the best tools in my writer toolbox. Also, I think, the most intimidating, for me. Because what do you mean you just sit down and write for fifteen minutes, without stopping? Do you know what kind of crap I can come up with in fifteen minutes of writing without stopping?

One of the things that has tangled me up this year is this weird sort of stuck headspace, where I'll spend hours going over and over and over one chapter, one scene, without moving on. I know better. And still I get caught in this endless loop.

Writing sprints are what help me move forward in times like this, without too much mental frustration. Fifteen minutes on new things, and then I can fret over the old words for a bit. Then fifteen more minutes on new words... And so on.

Therapy has taught me over the years that when your mind gets "stuck" or "hooked" on certain things, it's likely for a very good reason, usually to protect you from something, even if that something or its methods don't make sense. It would be easy for me to say, "Going over old words is a stupid, useless, waste of my time, so I just stopped doing it!" But the reality is, it's likely a manifestation of something much greater, like anxiety, which isn't so easy to quell. So I just roll with it, and try to find a happy medium in the meantime.

Another thing that has been really helpful is to remind myself that every book I've ever finished, every book I've ever loved, every book I've ever submitted, every book that's ever been accepted, every book that's ever been anything has been written sloppily, in little bursts at a time.

Every. Single. One.

So my anxiety over the clean-up process--whether I can do it, whether it will be too hard, whether future me will be capable--is fear-based, not fact-based.

I can do hard things, because I have done hard things.

P.S.: If you would like to join me in writing sprints, beginning Thursday, December 28, 2023, 9PM-11PM EST, I'll post threads here and on Threads and Instagram where you can join in weekly!

Another Year of Writing Books

Every year on my birthday, I do a whole thing where I recommit to writing for one more year.

This isn’t an official recommitment ceremony or anything like that. It’s just a thing I’ve done the past few years that I’ve enjoyed doing, so I’ve kept doing it.

This year, because my actual birthday was a gloomy, rainy, lonely thing, I celebrated with a new journal, which I needed, and some new stickers, which I wanted, and a couple of pens and markers, which matched and were also on sale.

I’ve learned over the years to pay attention to the universe when it’s screaming messages at you at the top of its lungs. This, I think, was one of those times. And I’m still not exactly sure what it was saying, only that it was saying something, and maybe that is enough for me to shut up, lean in, and listen.

Another thing I need to do more of?

Talking.

Or blogging.

Sharing.

Whatever.

Years ago, when I used this blog to jot down writing thoughts between classes. Back then, everybody had a blog, so me having a blog felt a lot less like me having a blog.

I’ve talked before about how useful it was to write down thoughts, share them with others, and how the conversations (and the friendships) that came out of those times shaped the foundation of who I am as a writer.

I like to think I’m a better writer because of the smol effort I put into a smattering of words ten years ago.

I know I am a better person because of the friends I met.

Journaling hasn’t had the same impact for me. I still do it, three pages every day, a holdover from my time doing Morning Pages through Julia Cameron’s Artist’s Way practice.

But I miss sharing with others. I miss working riding the highs and lows with writer friends.

I don’t know what that looks like, though. I don’t know if it looks like a podcast or a blog or something else entirely. I’m here because this is where I left you last, this is what is most familiar and where I feel most comfortable.

And to be frank, I am tired tonight and don’t feel like learning a new app.

If you’re out there, maybe it’s enough to say:

I’m out here, too. I’m writing a big, scary thing. I’m turning in another big, scary thing this week, for the first time in a couple of years.

Hi. My name is Liz. I write books. It’s nice to meet you.