How to Make Lemonade

When I first sat down to write this post, I had totally planned on talking about how demoralizing one of my classes has been, and what a struggle it is to write happy things when someone in your life is trying his damnedest to make sure you know just how horribly you suck.

But then halfway through I realized that focusing on the muck is what keeps you in the muck, and what I really should blog about was how to get out of the muck.

Ready? Here goes.

When life hands you lemons, send them through a juicer

Since toxic people bear toxic fruit, it can be dangerous to try and digest their special kind of feedback, skin and all. Instead, you have to separate the bitter/inedible parts from the juice, which might otherwise be useful. I like to do this by blacking out--either literally, with a Sharpie, or mentally--those things you think are invalid, unfounded, or just plain mean.

Can't find any juice? Don't worry about it. Some people are just mean for the sake of being mean.

Dilute, dilute, dilute

Being the designated whipping girl isn't fun, especially when it seems like every move you make is met with a smack on the rear. But the truth of the matter is, even though a person's ire may be directed at you, it's usually not because of you or anything you've done. Toxic people are experts at finding faults in others they think will deflect from their own insecurities.

Pour some sugar on it

Let's face it: rejection stings, even when it's from someone you don't like. Take the hurt out of it by revising their demoralizing feedback with something a little more constructive. For example, if someone accuses you of rambling inanely, make a mental note to double-check for cohesiveness.

Serve it ice cold

Never, never, never try and tackle a nasty critique right away. Let it sit for a day/week/month, until you can read it without over-analyzing every little thing.

And when you're done, put it on ice permanently by tossing it in the wastebasket where it belongs.

4 Months

So this week I'm stuck writing an essay, so today you get KITTEH PICTURES!

Here's Nathan Fillion at four (and a half!) months old:

He still gives the best snuggles you can imagine. He's still a bottomless pit. He still sleeps on my pillow (technically, though there isn't much pillow left for me at this point). He still kisses me goodnight.

This is his brother Ephraim:

Ephraim has the best belly of the bunch. Too bad touching it tends to launch the worst stink bomb you can imagine.

I also decided to redo my office (again) a few weeks ago. It's still a work of progress, but the painting is done:

And thanks to Elvis and Nancy, so is most of my interior decorating:

I also found this way cute rug at Pier 1 at 90% off:

I know, right? Just how cute is that rug?

But it's not as cute as Emma, AKA my new seat cushion:

Happy Wednesday! And if you're feeling particularly generous, I wouldn't mind a prayer or two for a snow day tomorrow!

More On Plotting

I took a shot of this the day of finals, and just now got around to pulling it off my phone.  Here, we have: a short outline, a long outline, notebook, hair clip, lip balm, colored index cards, pencils, highlighters, black ink pen (very important), white index cards, and Blake Snyder's SAVE THE CAT.

Then, when I have a good idea of where I'm going, it all gets input into Scrivener, like this:

I typically try to write from beginning to end, but there are some scenes I know out of order, so I don't feel bad spending a few minutes getting those down as they come to me.

Full-screen mode is great for times when Twitter gets in the way of productivity:

I'm also partial to my timer-bomb, which keeps me from feeling overwhelmed:

But the real secret to writing well is having tons of these:

HOTCH SNUGGLES!!!!

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Required Reading for Writers

Back when I worked for The Bank, there was a stupid rule that we had to read this bohemoth of a policies and procedures book every year before December 31st. Every year, I'd put it off until the very last week, hoping I could somehow get out of it. And every year, my boss would swish past my desk, wearing a look on her face like she'd just swallowed a toad, and I'd know my plan had been foiled. Again.

I don't rightly recall why I had such an aversion to reading the policies and procedures handbook, except to say that half the stuff was either outdated or outlandish or both. But I do remember how it felt to come back in the middle of December, after my winter vacation, and see that 5" maroon binder staring me in the face. It's the same feeling I got last week, when I looked at my history final and realized everything I knew about the Civil War came from True Blood.

But as I was tidying up my office, the thought occurred to me that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to spend what little bit is left of 2010 re-reading some of my favorite writing books.

Here's a short list:

• The War of Art by Steven Pressfield
• The Fire in Fiction and Writing the Breakout Novel by Donald Maass
• The Elements of Style by Strunk & White
• See Jane Write by Sarah Mlynowski & Farrin Jacobs
• On Writing by Stephen King
• Made to Stick by Chip Heath & Dan Heath
• The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell
• The Marshall Plan for Novel Writing by Evan Marshall
• The Plot Thickens by Noah Lukeman
• Save The Cat! by Blake Snyder

I have others on my shelves that I turn to periodically, but these are the ones I find myself going back to over and over again.

How about you? Which books are your favorites, and which would you deem required reading for writers?

The Idea Store

Earlier this afternoon, I asked a friend of mine, "Where do your ideas come from?"

"I buy them from an ad in the back of Rolling Stone," she told me. "I dunno. All over."

This morning I pulled up a book I finished in September to get it ready for an edit the size of a rewrite. I don't know how to explain what it feels like to read your own work except to say that it's different than reading someone else's work. The flaws are more pronounced, the characters more familiar. Sometimes I run across things I didn't even know I knew, and I'm amazed I even knew it to begin with.

Growing up, I was never one of those people who had to ask, what should I write about?  What should I draw? What should I play? What should I wear? I had to ask those things a lot. (I still do.) But I always had an idea for something to write, even if I didn't know how to execute it properly at the time.

So how do you open your own Idea Store?  I have no idea clue. But here are a few rules that have helped me over the years.

Give up on your muse.

I hate to break it to you, but muses? They don't exist. What does exist is hard work. If you really want to be a font of ideas, stop waiting on them to find you and start looking for them. Everywhere.


Don't panic.

Every now and then, the thought occurs to me that I might never have a good idea ever again and will somehow die of writer's block. 

(I know it's not really possible to die of writer's block, but sometimes it feels like it is, and that's all that matters.)

The cure for this is simple: step away from the computer and do something fun. Play mini-golf. Do the dishes by hand. Read a book. Take a nap. Play with the kids/dog/cat. Acknowledge a loved one with more than an annoyed grunt. By the time you're done relaxing, you'll most likely have had an idea. Crisis averted. It's only when you let yourself go into panic mode that all hell breaks loose.

Stop window shopping.

Keep a notebook and pen with you everywhere you go, and jot down ideas as they come to you. If you lollygag around waiting for validation, probably you're going to forget the idea you were ambivalent about in the first place. It's better to write it down now and analyze it later.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Challenge yourself every day to craft a story in your head about a song, a painting, a picture or a building. Whether you put it on paper is up to you.

Don't expect every idea to be a good one.

Most of the ideas I have are crap, and I mean that in a Battleship-Earth-meets-Dumb-and-Dumberer kind of way. You could bottle some of my ideas and fertilize your farm for years to come, that's how crap they are. But I jot them down anyway. You wouldn't believe how many good ideas come to us dressed in a suit of poo.

Mix-n-Match

Take two been-there-done-that ideas, shake them up, and see what happens.

Those are just my tried-and-true favorites, and as always, your mileage may vary. So how about you? How do you go about generating ideas?

Three Months

Since September, little Nathan Fillion has gone from this:

To this:

He's spoiled rotten and absolutely fearless. I can't wait to see what he gets into next.

(Note: Ignore the date on the photo. My camera hasn't worked well since that time I dropped it in the toilet.)

Quiet Time

 
Believe it or not, my favorite time of day is just before dawn, when I have the courtyard outside the library all to myself, and an hour and a half to do whatever I please. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I lay my head down on the table and stay that way until the sun comes up. Regardless, it’s my time to do whatever I want to do, and that kind of freedom is worth its weight in gold.

Are you addicted to approval?

Take this quiz and find out!

You fall completely in love with a yellow faux-leather jacket at the mall. Not only is it your size, it's also on sale.  What do you do?

1. call your best friend immediately and ask her what she thinks. If she likes it, you'll buy it.
2. call your best friend immediately and ask her what she thinks. If she hates it, you'll buy it.
3. call your best friend immediately and tell her about the new yellow faux-leather jacket you just bought.

Your "dream agent" has declared young adult alien romances (like the one you've been working on for the past 2 years) dead in the water. With aliens out, he predicts were-kitteh mockumentaries will be the Next Big Thing. You: 

1. spend the next six months transforming your young adult alien romance into young adult were-kitteh mockumentary. He's a professional, after all, and you trust his opinion.
2. scrap everything and spend the next six months using it as an example of how people like him are killing the publishing industry. He's a professional, after all. What does he know?
3. shrug it off and keep on trucking. Good books never go out of style, and if he doesn't want it, someone else will.

You hear through the grapevine that a girl you work with has been running you down behind your back. While some of the accusations are true (and others not so much), they're taken out of context to make her look good and you look bad. 

You:

1. buy her coffee for a month in an attempt to change her opinion of you, and when that doesn't work, avoid her at all costs.
2. remind her that two can play this game by outing her for being the talentless, two-faced hack you both know she is.
3. accept that not everyone is going to like you and move on. If she's really as venomous as she seems, it's only a matter of time before others figure it out, too.

You have an idea for a new project. But before you get started, you want to:

1. run it by your mother, brother, sister, priest, therapist, critique partner, critique group, Facebook friends, twitter followers, blog subscribers, members of every mailing list you belong to, and so on, and so forth
2. make sure it hasn't been popularized by someone else. Seriously, how embarrassing would that be?
3. make a few notes, maybe even an outline or to do list, so you can get a feel of how to best execute it

You catch yourself stretching the truth about your accomplishments:

1. Sometimes
2. Always
3. Never

You're done!  Time to tally your answers!

If you scored:

Mostly As

Step away from the Kool Aid! When it comes to approval, you'll do just about anything to score your next fix. Too bad your obsessive-compulsive people-pleasing leaves you feeling even worse than before.

How to kick the habit: as Polonius once said, 'to thine own self be true.' Whenever you find yourself seeking approval from outside sources, take a mental health moment and ask yourself why. You may be surprised at the answer.

Mostly Bs

If apathy were a superpower, you'd have the world by the balls.  Or at least, that's what you want people to think. Truth is, you're as insecure and approval-addicted as everyone else, you're just too scared to admit it.

How to break the ice: confession is good for the soul, so cut the crap and fess up. Who knows? The more you give a damn about others, the more they may give a damn about you.

Mostly Cs

You're calm, cool, and collected...and maybe a little too well-adjusted.  Sure, you have the occasional bouts of self-doubt, but for the most part, you own your awesomeness.  Way to go, kiddo.

How to stay the course: keep your eyes on the prize. According to mental toughness guru Steve Siebold, “most middle-class performers - the average person - spend far too much time focused on their fears in an attempt to prepare for the worst. World-class performers develop a laser-like focus on their excruciatingly detailed, emotionally charged vision."

(Just like Payson Keeler!)

That's it!  How'd you do?

xoxo,

Liz