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Saturday, January 6, 2024

Unanswerable Questions

I started 2024 with big ambitions, hopes, goals, and all that other stuff that comes with the start of a new year. Three days in, I was hit with a debilitating migraine. Now all of those carefully made plans for January need to be re-assessed.

This is annoying, but it's also life.

I'm also hitting the midpoint of a book, and I'm wondering if I have made a disastrous mistake 13,000 words ago. Is it better to write through this draft as-is, or will it be better to go back and rewrite the book from that point forward.

This is also annoying. It's also life.

I've been taking a lot of stock of my writing life recently. I've been in this industry for over a decade now. Many of the writers I started with have moved on to new lives, new hobbies, new careers. I, myself, have also tried on new lives, new hobbies, new careers. I don't get excited about things the way I used to. Or panic the way I used to. I've hit a stretch where there's a comfort in the routine of writing. Even on the bad days.

I always thought I would hit a place where I had all the answers, if not through experience, then through osmosis. But the truth is, I don't know how to write a book today any more than I did twelve years ago. I've been agented for eleven years, and I still get nervous sending things in.

I still stress about whether I've made a mistake 13,000 words ago, and fret over if it's better to fix it now or continue as-is and see how it plays out.

The difference between me now and me then is that I now know it doesn't matter. There is no wrong choice. The best choice is the choice that gets the draft finished. And if it needs work after the fact, even a substantial rewrite, then that, too, is just life.