Today, I miss being a college student.
Not being young, exactly--I was officially a grown-ass adult when I went to college--but the support system. I enjoyed being on campus. I enjoyed the community. It lent a structure to my life that I've been unable to provide for myself thus far.
I wonder if a lot of neurodivergent creatives feel this way. Because the ones I'm friends with really flourished in college for this reason. They were able to, for a short amount of time, devote themselves wholly to their work, without having to worry about supportive self-care tasks. Everything is within a walking distance. The small community is built around learning and skill-growing.
I'm waist deep in a book right now, and I'm in that mad sort of place where if I think about it too long, I will talk myself out of every decision I've made, decide the entire book is wrong, and try to rewrite it from the ground up. I've done this before to books, and those books never see the light of day. They have 27 chapter ones, but that's it. That's all there is. And it's probably all those books ever will be.
So I have to be super careful at this stage not to think too much about the thing while at the same time moving forward with the writing of the thing. It's easy for me to become so zoned in on the writing that I forget those important care tasks--like eating and drinking. You'd think by now I would have figured out some magic trick to work all this out, but I haven't. It's still something I'm working on.